On Being Single and of Boyfriends

Attention all well-meaning individuals in my life:

I am a single white female – get over it.

I know you all mean well when you comment, jest or quip about my obvious lack of a significant other in my life; but with all-due respect, back off. I happen to take a certain level of pride at setting my relationship status as ‘single’ on Facebook and check marking ‘Ms.” on forms. If I’m happy for me, why can’t you be too?


So far, my impression of like-aged men is shaky at best. My experiences with so-called ‘relationship ready’ guys have been nothing of the Disney encounters portrayed in the movies. I feverishly hope that not every man in my dating range is like those that I’ve met thus far.

Because of this, my dear loved ones, you continuing to push me will likely result in my purposeful distance of the opposite sex just to prove a point. So the next time you want to joke or tease about a cute, single guy that you want me to meet, or you feel like making a joke about online dating sites in my presence, don’t. Simply don’t.

You see, my whole life I’ve seen other girls completely lose themselves over the idea of having a boyfriend. Please understand that I have not ever once been like these girls. While it seemed that other teenage girls my age were solely concerned about ‘hooking up,’ I was driving a tractor through the field; while “normal” teenage girls were prepping for prom, I was currying my horse in the barn; while other girls were crying over broken hearts, I was mending broken fences on the prairie. And while other girls were worrying about losing their innocence or losing their social status, I was free to write stories in my head and imagine worlds none of them could visit had they wanted to.

I don’t mean to sound so condescending or condemning, but you need to understand that I’m different from other girls and don’t mind being so one bit. But what I do mind is that you seem to ignore the fact that, despite my tough exterior, I am still a girl inside and I still do feel what you say.

Here’s what I know about the prospect of a ‘second half’ (when you constantly bring it up, I have hardly any choice but to think on it once in a while):

- First, it is my personal belief is that if (italics intended to represent the emphases of the word) God has someone out there for me, He will reveal that person to me on His time schedule and I’ll know when he does. Trust me, He and I have been in communication about this subject (no, I’m not praying for a boyfriend. I’m praying for God’s will in my life) and so far it hasn’t happened.

- Second, I will not have a tolerance for a man who does not respect me, my body, or my firm belief of restraint from premarital sex. God has a plan for man and woman, and it is not that which most in today’s society accept.

- Third, if (again, note the use of italics) there is someone out there for me, he would be a man of God, worthy of following. Thinking of the prospect of being a wife someday, I often wonder if I would be strong enough to submit my personal will to that of a husband’s; I saw a t-shirt once that says, ‘I’m single and you’re going to have to be awesome to change that.’

The simple truth is that I’m still trying to get all this stuff figured out in my own brain and I would appreciate a little bit of space while I doing so; because, how am I to know the one when I don’t yet fully know myself?

God has made me perfectly capable of taking care of myself in the meantime. He gave me a brain to think and he gave me two feet and a set of skills with which I am able to support myself in this world. He has blessed me beyond comprehension and I would appreciate it if you would get off my case a little at least and just try being happy for me as I am.

I hope you understand, and always lots of love,

Amanda, xoxoxo